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Tuesday, June 27, 2006

The luxury living of Queens Plaza

Ali and I went to an open house of the new “luxury” building of condos that is about to open at Queensplaza. It bills itself as in Long Island City, which it is. But not the Long Island City that they claim to be a part of. You know, the part that is “a truly unique area of artists, museums, and constantly evolving streets filled with a mixture of cafes and stores.” That’s Hunter’s Point. To get there, they’d have to walk a mile. And that’s after crossing the 250-foot-wide mass of 16 lanes and four railroad tracks that is Queensplaza. And Queensplaza South? That’s where the Riker’s Island bus drops all the released inmates off at around 2AM. Now that’s unique!

Queensplaza has no retail to speak of. A decent taco stand is there. An Army Recruiting station. A titty bar. Fried chicken. But really nothing else. Not even a bar. Certainly not a grocery store.

It’s also interesting that they don’t bill themselves as Astoria. Which clearly they’re not. But then by most definitions we don’t live in Astoria. We’ve simply extended Astoria to where we are. And if we can extend Astoria from Broadway to 36th Avenue, then what’s to stop a real estate person from it all the way to 41st Ave?

Perhaps it will become the next hip neighborhood. But I doubt it. Especially since they're skipping the hip artist stage entirely. The prices? A one-bedroom apartment about our size (small) for $425,000. Two bedrooms $675,000 (monthly common charge: $690). A penthouse (2 bedroom) goes for $1,250,000. Outdoor parking costs $30,000 extra.

In the building’s defense. It is right by tons of subways. And if I lived there, I’d be home by now. Or at least 5 minutes faster as I pass the building on my bike ride home. And the Manhattan view is very nice.

While there, Ali was really in full swing. He was asking serious questions about how loud the elevator was if you lived next to it. I was just trying to keep a straight face. They probably thought we were coming in from Jackson Heights. We both stole pens.

And you get this great faux calendar. It includes little helpful reminders like “get bread,” “change babysitter to 7pm,” and “send mortgage check.”

But some of these are more revealing:
“go to furniture store for new bookshelf” (cleverly after “get new book”—and there actually was a cheap furniture store near there… but it closed about a year ago)
“pick up water filters” (yuppies wouldn’t drink some of the best tap water in the US unfiltered)
“get posters framed” (no doubt nice little MOMA prints)
“renew gym membership” (duh)
“cancel magazine subscription” (hmm, that’s a curveball. Maybe it was Better Living?)
“schedule Kobi’s Vet appointment” (Poor Kobi. I wonder what their kids are named?)
“136+58=194” (I checked, it’s correct)
“back up files” (Wow. With ownership comes great responsibility)
“buy tickets to Mets game” (Queens pride is good)
“pick up Ashley’s Graduation Card” (Ashley... I’m sure she didn't go to a public school)
“run in Gantry Park” (a nice park, but there’s nowhere to run in it and it is a mile away… but now I’m starting see that that’s not really the point).
“Download pics” (um hmmmm? I do that all the time. And let me tell you, to download pics, luxury is not required.)

But here’s what really takes the cake. On Thursday the 18th it says “walk to Queens Bridge Park” because “concert begins at 8pm.” (go on, click and zoom in on this picture, it’s worth it.)

Well I don’t have to go out on a limb to say that not one resident of Queens Plaza will walk to Queensbridge Park. Because between the two is Queensbridge Public Housing.

It’s the largest public housing complex in the US (at least since they tore down the Robert Taylor Homes in Chicago).

Now “The Bridge” isn’t all bad. I bike past it all the time and don’t feel scared (I wouldn’t have biked past the Robert Taylor Homes). And lots of famous hip-hop artists have come from there (Marley Larl, MC Shan, Roxanne Shante, Nas, Mobb Deep). And there was a big drug arrest there a year or two ago that supposedly made the place better.

But ain’t one single resident of Queen Plaza going to Queensbridge Park much less walking through Queensbridge to get there (you’ve got zoom in on this google-earth picture to see it).

And for a real estate company to advertise the proximity to that park with a straight face? If you’ve got half a million for one of these apartments? I’ve got the Queensbridge to sell you.

Monday, June 19, 2006

The Cape Race

There aren't normally boats docked here. Especially a handsome boat like this. It's on Newtown Creek between Queens and Brooklyn.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Do-it-yourself guide to Tivoli clock radio.

The radio is great. But the clock light is way too bright. Turning it toward the wall makes the wall too bright. It's more like a dim night-light.

The bright clock light can be dimmed if you're willing to open up the Tivoli.

Anyway, if you're handy, like opening things up, and willing to void the warrantee, you can open it the Tivoli Model Three and dim the light by physically covering up the bulb. You need a standard Phillips and a small Phillips-head screwdriver. Needle-nose pliers can be helpful.

Unplug and unscrew the six screws in back. Do the visible two first as they hold the computer board in place. The front and back can now come out. Unplug the clock's connection from the back of the unit. It's a standard computer-style power plug. But you have to remove or cut some of the gummy holding material first. Remove the smaller cord (snooze button) from the clock that comes from the clock.

Unscrew the three screws holding in the clock and maybe rotate counter-clockwise slightly (I don't know if rotating is necessary, but that's how I did it). Pry out the clock (toward the internal side of the clock) with a little careful force. There are plastic parts than seem pretty strong, but be careful. Things will unclick and release under light force. Make sure the screw holders don't get caught in the wires (fm antenna?) wrapping around the clock. Now you can work on the clock unattached from the radio.

Be careful with the unprotected clock arms. You can hold the clock for the remainder of this procedure. If you hit the hour hand, it may come loose swing freely (I did this). Don't despair, you can press it back down to lock it back in. Just be sure to synch it with the alarm and minute hand.

Peel back a little of the foam insulating material around the whole edge of the back of the clock and a little more at 9 and 3 o'clock (literally) to reveal two screws. Unscrew and remove the back.

The clock, by the way, is a cheap Chinese-made Guangzhou "Fuda #2039." Without the electric time-set motor and light, it's just like the kind of travel clock you buy from street vendors for $5. And it does run from the single double-A battery. Shame on Tivoli, usually they're so classy.

Almost there. Remove the 4 small screws on the top of the back of the clock and remove that little part. The light is on the front side of this part. Cover the light with electrical tape (I wouldn't use black tape as it may cut all light). Or maybe some nail polish or white-out or anything, really. The bulb is small so nimble fingers come in handy. I covered the bulb with 2 small pieces of red electrical tape. One of the top of the bulb and the other wrapping around, holding the first in place. Works great.

Reassemble everything. The only tricky part is pressing the clock back into the front plate. Make sure the small (useless?) wire is accessable. Be careful to line up the groves of the clear alarm face when pressing it back in. And keep 12 high. Press gently and turn gentle until everything is lined up and then press the clock back in until it clicks. Make sure the three screw holes don't get caught on the fm antenna wires. Plug the small wire back in the clock. Reconnect the clock power supply in the the back. Re-screw back and front together.

Plug in and make sure everything works. It should. There's nothing too hard. Especially if you've ever opened up another electronic product.

And if you think this is crazy and expect your $200 clock radio to be out-of-the-box great... well, you're right.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Oops. Truck smashed up under tracks at Newtown Rd on 31st St.

I was shocked at this red sky the other day. Then I learned about the big fire in Brooklyn that must have caused the beautiful sunset. If we do get our new home, we could actually see the sun set.